I like plans. I don't even remember when I started liking to plan. I love buying a new planner every year. I like meetings. I like accomplishing to-do lists. Every Sunday, I fill in my planner for the week to come. It's not that I'm not flexible, because I am. You can't be a Youmans and not be flexible. But if my plans are going to change, I like having a plan TO change.
Then I had a baby.....
I was actually really blessed because Micah was on a 3 hour eating schedule pretty consistently from the time he was born. He never cluster fed and I didn't ever have to force him on a schedule, because he fell into. However, that schedule is different every day. I tried and tried to figure him out, and then I got the best advice from one of my friends. She said, "Every time you figure him out, he is going to change."
And is that not some of the truest advice I have ever received....
Every time I think I have something figured out, he changes. He sleeps less, he eats more, things that entertained him yesterday don't entertain him today....
We moved him to his big boy crib last week, and he was doing great, going to bed at 9pm or 10pm and waking up at 7am.
Then we had Daylight savings and the next morning he woke up at 6am! It was pretty hard to get ready for work that morning because he was awake the whole time.
So I'm learning. I am learning that every day might be different. What worked yesterday, might not work today. I know that consistency is good for kids, and I am trying to be consistent, but I am also a fan of being flexible. I don't want to be so worried that my plan didn't work that I forget to enjoy my sweet baby.
So even if he sleeps when I planned for him to be awake, or is awake when he should be napping, or eating every two hours when he normally does four, or wants me to carry him around the kitchen the whole time I am cooking because he is bored with his bouncy seat....I am okay with that, because who is to say what's his "normal" anyway.
And I don't want to plan away a minute of it....
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Saturday, October 27, 2012
Really Quickly
My definition of the two words "really quickly" has changed drastically since having a baby. Certain things that used to be really quick are no longer really quick....
For example...
Running into the grocery store...or the post office....or the bank
pre baby: 5 minutes
post baby: 15 minutes, after taking out car seat and diaper bag and purse, lugging inside, shopping, checking out, unloading groceries, then figuring out how to put the grocery cart away...is it close enough to put baby in car or does baby need to come with you in his seat to put the cart away.....
Getting ready for work in the morning....or church...or sports event
pre baby: 45 minutes
post baby: 3 hours, in order for Micah to only have one bottle while I am work, I feed him at 5:30 and 8:00 am before I leave for work at 9:00 am. In between, I am getting ready and getting him ready.
Grading papers...or cleaning the house....or any task needing to be done....
pre baby: 30 minutes
post baby: 2 hours, baby has fallen asleep and was put in his bed, that lasted ten minutes. Then baby wants mama to hold him. So I do, until he is passed out again, lay baby down, grade more papers. Baby wakes up again....but is still tired....goes back to sleep on mama....repeat....sometimes there are one or five dirty diapers in the mix too...oh, and if it takes long enough he might get hungry also....
And yet, other things that used to take a long time....have become tasks that can be accomplished "really quickly"....
For example...
Eating
pre baby: 30 minute dinner
post baby: 5 minutes (no, that is not heathly for digestion, but it is what it is) YES, I get to eat dinner!
Showering
pre baby: 20 - 30 minutes ( Yes, I was a long showerer!)
post baby: 0 - 10 minutes, YES, I get to shower today! Thank goodness for dry shampoo.
Sleeping
pre baby: All night long
post baby: 3 hour cycles....(until he started sleeping through the night) YES, I got 6 hours of sleep! I will be so energized tomorrow :)
Oh, Motherhood....you are quite a teacher of perspective....
For example...
Running into the grocery store...or the post office....or the bank
pre baby: 5 minutes
post baby: 15 minutes, after taking out car seat and diaper bag and purse, lugging inside, shopping, checking out, unloading groceries, then figuring out how to put the grocery cart away...is it close enough to put baby in car or does baby need to come with you in his seat to put the cart away.....
Getting ready for work in the morning....or church...or sports event
pre baby: 45 minutes
post baby: 3 hours, in order for Micah to only have one bottle while I am work, I feed him at 5:30 and 8:00 am before I leave for work at 9:00 am. In between, I am getting ready and getting him ready.
Grading papers...or cleaning the house....or any task needing to be done....
pre baby: 30 minutes
post baby: 2 hours, baby has fallen asleep and was put in his bed, that lasted ten minutes. Then baby wants mama to hold him. So I do, until he is passed out again, lay baby down, grade more papers. Baby wakes up again....but is still tired....goes back to sleep on mama....repeat....sometimes there are one or five dirty diapers in the mix too...oh, and if it takes long enough he might get hungry also....
And yet, other things that used to take a long time....have become tasks that can be accomplished "really quickly"....
For example...
Eating
pre baby: 30 minute dinner
post baby: 5 minutes (no, that is not heathly for digestion, but it is what it is) YES, I get to eat dinner!
Showering
pre baby: 20 - 30 minutes ( Yes, I was a long showerer!)
post baby: 0 - 10 minutes, YES, I get to shower today! Thank goodness for dry shampoo.
Sleeping
pre baby: All night long
post baby: 3 hour cycles....(until he started sleeping through the night) YES, I got 6 hours of sleep! I will be so energized tomorrow :)
Oh, Motherhood....you are quite a teacher of perspective....
Saturday, October 13, 2012
Good Gifts
On Wednesday nights, I have been helping out in the preschool class at church. Oh, are they adorable! It makes me look forward to hearing Micah's little voice and thoughts one day.
There is one little girl who is just cute-as-can-be. Her smile is contagious and she is always happy and excited about anything we do.
Whenever the teacher tells her we are going to do anything, her usual response is, "I LOVE" whatever we are about to do, followed by the cutest little laugh, of pure joy.
Seriously, WHATEVER we are about to.
Teacher: Okay class, let's color our pictures.
Little girl: Yay, I LOVE coloring!!
Teacher: Okay class, let's play follow the leader.
Little girl: Yay, I LOVE follow the leader!!
Teacher: Okay, class, let's cut out our pictures.
Little girl: Yay, I LOVE cutting our pictures!
And my personal favorite...
Teacher: Class, we are going to stay with the bigger kids tonight for class.
Little girl: The bigger kids? The ones who are taller than me?
Teacher: Yes.
Little girl: I LOVE having class with kids who are taller than me!!
My mom says the little girl reminds her of me when I was little....I know what she means. I used to and still can get really excited about things. Mom used to say I was like Tigger because I was always bouncing excitedly all over the place. As I have grown up, however, I find myself slipping more and more into Eeyore world at times, where it is easier to see the glass half empty.
I don't want to live there. I know that this is not my permanent home, and that when I get to heaven one day, the glass will always be not just half full, but completely running over, and overflowing, but I also know that God gives us good gifts now, here on earth and I don't want to overlook them.
Psalms tells us that "he leads us to green pastures" and James says that our "good gifts are from above coming down from the Father of heavenly lights", and yet I am so apt to forget that The One who made the stars cares enough to provide me with everything I need and even the "desires of my heart".
So as I begin to bring up my little boy, I am determined to return to Tigger world and show Micah that I am thankful for not just the big things in my life, but all the little things too....
chubby-cheeked baby kisses
hot coffee on cold mornings
a warm fire in the fireplace
a good conversation with my mom
afternoon sunlight in the fall
pumpkin flavored foods
hugs from my husband
delicious dinners
inquisitive students
family
....because at the end of the day, the little things add up to be big things. I want to LOVE the gifts, big and small, that God places in my life. Like the little girl at church, I want to always find joy in this life, in the One who created it, and in his gifts to us.
There is one little girl who is just cute-as-can-be. Her smile is contagious and she is always happy and excited about anything we do.
Whenever the teacher tells her we are going to do anything, her usual response is, "I LOVE" whatever we are about to do, followed by the cutest little laugh, of pure joy.
Seriously, WHATEVER we are about to.
Teacher: Okay class, let's color our pictures.
Little girl: Yay, I LOVE coloring!!
Teacher: Okay class, let's play follow the leader.
Little girl: Yay, I LOVE follow the leader!!
Teacher: Okay, class, let's cut out our pictures.
Little girl: Yay, I LOVE cutting our pictures!
And my personal favorite...
Teacher: Class, we are going to stay with the bigger kids tonight for class.
Little girl: The bigger kids? The ones who are taller than me?
Teacher: Yes.
Little girl: I LOVE having class with kids who are taller than me!!
My mom says the little girl reminds her of me when I was little....I know what she means. I used to and still can get really excited about things. Mom used to say I was like Tigger because I was always bouncing excitedly all over the place. As I have grown up, however, I find myself slipping more and more into Eeyore world at times, where it is easier to see the glass half empty.
I don't want to live there. I know that this is not my permanent home, and that when I get to heaven one day, the glass will always be not just half full, but completely running over, and overflowing, but I also know that God gives us good gifts now, here on earth and I don't want to overlook them.
Psalms tells us that "he leads us to green pastures" and James says that our "good gifts are from above coming down from the Father of heavenly lights", and yet I am so apt to forget that The One who made the stars cares enough to provide me with everything I need and even the "desires of my heart".
So as I begin to bring up my little boy, I am determined to return to Tigger world and show Micah that I am thankful for not just the big things in my life, but all the little things too....
chubby-cheeked baby kisses
hot coffee on cold mornings
a warm fire in the fireplace
a good conversation with my mom
afternoon sunlight in the fall
pumpkin flavored foods
hugs from my husband
delicious dinners
inquisitive students
family
....because at the end of the day, the little things add up to be big things. I want to LOVE the gifts, big and small, that God places in my life. Like the little girl at church, I want to always find joy in this life, in the One who created it, and in his gifts to us.
Sunday, September 30, 2012
Reflections from the Changing Table
(Disclaimer: yes this post is about changing diapers, but I promise it has a good point.)
But when I go to change his diaper, he cries. I mean cries. He kicks with his legs and tries to flip his torso. He makes it very difficult to put on a clean diaper.
"Micah, I can't leave you in this mess."
He keeps crying because he had to wake up to get his diaper changed.
"Micah, stop fighting me, I'm trying to help you."
He keeps crying because it's cold, it's new, and just plain uncomfortable. (And I even use a wipes warmer all the time.)
"I want you to have a clean diaper. Trust me, it will be a lot better when I finish."
But he keeps crying until I finish and pick him up and hug him.
Parenting has really changed my perspective of the "father-daughter" relationship I have with God. I never really understood before what is means for God to be my parent, because I only had experience with the "daughter" part of that relationship, not the parent part.
One day while I was changing my crying baby I starting thinking....
How often am I the baby, screaming at God for the circumstances in my life. "God, it's cold. God, it's new. God, it's uncomfortable. Why are you doing this?"
And God says, "Jordan, stop fighting me, I'm trying to help you."
"But God, I don't want life to go this way..."
"Jordan, I can't leave you in the mess you are in."
"I'm just fine, I like where I am."
"Jordan, trust me, it will be a lot better when I finish."
Wow, it hit me like a newfound truth. I am Micah. I am perfectly content to keep sleeping in my current circumstances and not wanting God to change anything, because that means I have to make adjustments in my life.
"Trust me it will be a lot better when I finish."
How many times have I fought God or worried about the circumstances in my life only to have them or myself turn out better than when I started? Ummmm pretty much every time.
"Trust me, it will be better when I finish."
When will I learn to trust God the first time....to know that when things are dark, or cold, or new, or uncomfortable that "he who began a good work in me will be faithful to complete it".
"Trust me, it will be better when I finish."
While becoming a new creation, I have to let myself go through the sanctification process and a process indicates change. Life changes that I have to be willing to go through. I have to be willing to go through the dark, the cold, the new, the uncomfortable in order to be pulled from the muck I am in.
"Trust me, it will be better when I finish."
So now when I change my baby's diaper, I pray that I have a slightly better understanding of the big picture of life than he does. And I pray that just as he will come to understand why I change his diaper, I will continue to remember why God changes the circumstances around me.
"I waited patiently for the Lord, he turned to me and he heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet upon a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, and hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord. " Psalm 40: 1-3
Saturday, September 29, 2012
The Beginning
Ever since I started stalking certain friend's blogs online, I knew that I wanted to become a blogger too.
Earlier this year, I started our family blog, and have really enjoyed keeping that one update for family and friends to read. It also serves as a great memory book, because heaven knows when I will be able to scrapbook again. My only partially completely honeymoon book tells you how good I ever was at it in the first place.
But I was also inspired to write another kind of blog. A blog that is not our family blog, but a blog just for me. To embrace my nerdy side. To record my thoughts about life, God, marriage, and mommyhood. A blog that has less pictures and more words. To let me process. To let me learn. To let me remember.
Why not write these things on the other blog? Because as I am very selectively organized, I enjoy categorizing the blogs as the "family" blog and "my" blog. And as Jonathan prefers to distance himself from my nerdy side, I would hate for someone to read that "I love drinking coffee on the couch on a raining day while diving into Michael Phillip's latest novel" and assume the "I" is Jonathan because it was on the "family" blog. Don't laugh. It could happen :)
I highly intend for this blog to be random in its topics, but I'm excited to at least have a place to record my randomness.
The name for the blog is inspired from this expected wide spectrum of topic. Not-so-important blogs "a penny for your thoughts" to the deeper issues I think about and want to remember "and Mary treasured these things and pondered them in her heart"will find themselves on this page.
Here's to the pennies and ponderings......
Earlier this year, I started our family blog, and have really enjoyed keeping that one update for family and friends to read. It also serves as a great memory book, because heaven knows when I will be able to scrapbook again. My only partially completely honeymoon book tells you how good I ever was at it in the first place.
But I was also inspired to write another kind of blog. A blog that is not our family blog, but a blog just for me. To embrace my nerdy side. To record my thoughts about life, God, marriage, and mommyhood. A blog that has less pictures and more words. To let me process. To let me learn. To let me remember.
Why not write these things on the other blog? Because as I am very selectively organized, I enjoy categorizing the blogs as the "family" blog and "my" blog. And as Jonathan prefers to distance himself from my nerdy side, I would hate for someone to read that "I love drinking coffee on the couch on a raining day while diving into Michael Phillip's latest novel" and assume the "I" is Jonathan because it was on the "family" blog. Don't laugh. It could happen :)
I highly intend for this blog to be random in its topics, but I'm excited to at least have a place to record my randomness.
The name for the blog is inspired from this expected wide spectrum of topic. Not-so-important blogs "a penny for your thoughts" to the deeper issues I think about and want to remember "and Mary treasured these things and pondered them in her heart"will find themselves on this page.
Here's to the pennies and ponderings......
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